Things haven’t changed since the end of “Facing Darkness Is Kinda My Thing”: Hope is still asleep and Landon is still dead. Landon voices over that he wishes he could be by Hope’s side when he says goodbye. As his spirit approaches the cemetery, he says that Hope taught him to live life to the fullest. If he can go out doing something good that will help her live a better life, his death will be worth it. He loves her, always and for–
The Necromancer grabs Landon by the shoulder and stops him from entering the cemetery. “Where the hell do you think you’re going, you pernicious little twit?” he demands.
Alaric calls an assembly to try to give the students some encouragement. They’ve been through a lot over the past few days (to say nothing of the past months and years), but he’s confident that they can get through whatever comes next together.
Alyssa interrupts to ask if “together” includes Josie, who killed her and basically held everyone hostage. Yes. Sit down, Alyssa. Alaric assures everyone that Josie is back to normal. Alyssa notes that Hope ensured that, and she’d like to know where Hope is. Alaric says she’s taking some time alone to deal with what happened to Landon. Wade asks after him, and Alaric says that getting him back is a top priority. He’d do the same for any of the students.
Kaleb asks what they’re supposed to do now. Also, why were they told to dress in gym clothes? Alaric wants the students to spend the day just being kids. They get to stop worrying and hopefully grow closer. M.G. announces that they’re having a field day. Everyone’s happy about that except Josie and Lizzie.
After the assembly, Lizzie tells Alaric that this isn’t a good enough way to get everyone to stop looking at Josie like she’s a serial killer. She would rather employ her 17-step approach to…we’ll never know; Alaric won’t listen to it. She threatens to become a jerk again to force everyone to leave Josie alone. Josie comes around the corner just then, holding an armful of rubber balls. Alyssa uses magic to tie her shoelaces together and make her trip. She warns some witches not to let Josie catch them laughing at her, or she could kill them, too. Now Lizzie’s ready to get into the competitive spirit.
Now free of the Necromancer’s control (and calling him Ted again), Chad goes back to the Salvatore crypt to get his headphones. He puts on his red robe and pretends to be the Necromancer. He offers to raise a pegasus, and he’s taken aback when a monster actually comes out of the new Malivore pit. As far as Malivore monsters go, this one isn’t the least bit scary, as Chad sees when all the mud suddenly falls off of her, leaving her completely clean. The monster is Nimue, the Lady of the Lake, and she needs Chad’s help if he’s “a worthy man.” The pit starts bubbling again, indicating that something is following her, and she tells Chad they need to leave ASAP.
Alaric takes Rafael to Hope, who’s in Landon’s bed while Landon’s in Rafael’s. Alaric thinks the Necromancer used black magic to keep her unconsciousout. He’s going to find the Necromancer and force him to answer some questions. Rafael doesn’t want him to leave right now, since without both Alaric and Hope, the school will fall apart. “My room isn’t big enough for three bodies,” Rafael says. It totally is – those dorm rooms are huge – but point taken.
The Necromancer saves Alaric a trip by coming right through the front door. He’s dragging Landon with him, but Alaric can’t see him. Rafael can, which the Necromancer finds interesting. It must be because Rafael was recently connected to him. The Necromancer explains that he has Landon’s spirit but can’t get Josie’s black magic until Landon returns from the dead. Slight problem: Landon won’t cooperate and get back in his body.
The other students have a great time on their field day, taking over a playground and running around like normal teens. Well, except Wade, who’s practicing sword moves on a punching bag. M.G. thinks that things will go great when they start playing games together and the captains pick team members from different factions. “I just want to soak in this golden moment when we both believed that maybe, just maybe, your plan would have worked,” Lizzie replies. Heh.
She’s focused on repairing Josie’s reputation, so she approaches the witches. Alyssa’s trying to get them to elect her their captain because she’s only going to have witches on her team. Lizzie tells them that she wants to remind them of the way things used to be. Also, if they don’t vote her captain, they’ll regret it.
Josie tells Lizzie not to do this, which Lizzie spins into a example of why Josie’s kind and compassionate. She messed up, but Alyssa has been messed up her whole life and they’ve always had to deal with it. “So, with a gentle reminder that I know where you all live, who votes for me?” Lizzie asks. That would be everyone. Lizzie happily picks Josie as her first team member. But Alyssa smugly reveals that M.G. gave her permission to pick the first game.
Alaric finds it hard to believe that the Necromancer doesn’t have the power to just force Landon back into his body. The Necromancer is offended by the suggestion that he’s not all-powerful, but he admits that he has limitations. He can only raise a spirit if that spirit or its host is willing. Landon is pretty happy that he’s holding up the Necromancer’s plans. The Necromancer complains about his stubbornness, saying no one has ever turned down the chance to be resurrected.
Putting aside Landon for the moment, Alaric wants to know what the Necromancer is going to do about Hope. The Necromancer thinks he means that she’ll be mad when she finds out that he hasn’t resurrected Landon. He claims not to know anything about her failure to wake up. Alaric asks Rafael to talk Landon into letting himself be resurrected while Alaric turns his attention to Hope. Landon thinks Rafael should help Alaric instead, but Rafael wants Landon back first.
Landon says he can’t come back – if he does, the deal is complete and the Necromancer will get Josie’s black magic. “Literally everybody else was cool with it,” the Necromancer complains. Rafael reminds him that they want the same thing and asks to speak to Landon privately. The Necromancer gives him an hour. Or…what? He can’t do anything!
The first group activity at the field day is tug-of-war. Lizzie wants Josie to be their team’s anchor and use magic to win. Josie says she can’t, but Lizzie thinks she just means she doesn’t want to cheat. She doesn’t listen when Josie tries to tell her that she put her magic in a coin. The twins’ team faces off with Alyssa’s team, which also consists of Kaleb and Jed. Vampire strength wins out, and Josie ends up in a big pool of mud. Alyssa taunts that she’s “a mud monster like Malivore.”
Landon explains his logic to Rafael: If he stays dead, not only does the Necromancer not get black magic but Malivore can’t use Landon as a vessel, which means no one he cares about gets hurt or dies. Rafael reminds Landon that hero moves always lead to tragedy. Landon asks if he’s just supposed to let the bad guy win. “Out there, the bad guy wins every day,” Rafael replies. The bad guys have been beating them since day one. Why is this the time Landon has chosen not to fight back?
Josie tells Lizzie that she can’t do magic right now. Lizzie’s upset that her sister made such a big decision without telling her. Josie says she tried to talk to her. M.G. assures her that they’re listening now. Josie tells Lizzie that her attempts to help are the problem here. She deserves everyone’s anger over what she did. Lizzie can’t change what happened, and she’s making everything worse like she used to. Josie wants to deal with this on her own.
As she turns to walk away, all the mud falls off of her just like it did Nimue. She’s there now, and Wade alerts everyone to her presence. She introduces herself as the Lady of the Lake, protector of Excalibur, the enchanted blade of kings. “Okay, Game of Thrones, we get it,” Kaleb interjects. Wade explains that Nimue wants the sword he borrowed from Alaric – it happens to be Excalibur. Wade thought he would consult with his classmates before handing it over, since there’s a good chance Nimue is a bad guy.
Lizzie and M.G. take over negotiations, and Nimue tells them that if they’re worried about monsters, they need to give her the sword. It’s bound to a true monster who’s also after it. Nimue will take it to Avalon and they’ll all be safe. If they don’t give it to her, the world will be plunged into darkness. Kaleb snickers and M.G. explains to Nimue that they’ve been through this sort of thing a bunch of times.
Some stomping nearby lets the students know that Nimue’s fellow Malivore escapee has arrived. It’s a big guy in a suit of armor, and there’s no way any of the students can take him on. M.G. starts to give him the sword, but it’s suddenly pulling away from him, as if it’s magnetized to something. It flies out of his hand and embeds itself in a flat rock. Thunder rumbles and the sky quickly turns dark. “The challenge has begun,” Nimue announces, “and only the worthy shall win.”
She explains that the guy in the armor is the Green Knight, who used to be noble but is now a monster after being corrupted by the power in the sword. He became unworthy to hold it, and his thirst for more power made him “a scourge upon mankind.” Lizzie jokes that they already have one of those, meaning Alyssa. On the plus side, thanks to a curse Nimue placed on the Green Knight, he moves really slowly, and in fact will slow down the closer he gets to Excalibur. He’ll eventually get to it, though, and when he does, they’ll most likely experience the same thing that happened last time, when Camelot fell and the Dark Ages began.
M.G. asks how they stop him. Nimue says the Green Knight is the rightful owner of Excalibur, since he was the last person to hold it, and now only a “worthy challenger” or champion can defeat him. It’s Nimue’s job to find one. Anyone who doesn’t feel like they fit that category or who’s scared of being killed should run. Most of the students take off right away, leaving the Super Squad behind. Wade tries to slip away, too, but Jed stops him. Pedro suddenly shows up, having ditched his fellow younger students, who are finger painting. He thinks this is where he belongs.
Jed tells Nimue that she’s in the right place, since killing monsters is what the Super Squad does. Alyssa’s turned on by that confidence. He vows to “recycle this tin can,” then wolfs out and runs at the Green Knight. The monster just raises his mace so Jed runs into it face-first and gets thrown back. Pedro wisely runs away. Nimue tells the others that the worthy champion has to use Excalibur, the only thing that can kill the Green Knight. Lizzie doesn’t appreciate her withholding that information. The Super Squad gets to figuring out which of them is going to be the champion here.
Landon tries to talk Rafael into accepting him as a ghost. He could float over their teachers’ desks and cheat on tests! He could find out which girls are into Rafael! Rafael would have a ghost wingman! Landon thinks Hope would understand, and she’d make the same decision in his position. She took a risk when she went into Josie’s subconscious; she was willing to sacrifice herself for the greater good. Now it’s Landon’s turn to do the same. Rafael says it’s his turn instead. He goes back to the Necromancer to confirm that he needs either a spirit or a host to cooperate in order to bring back Landon. He suggests that the Necromancer put Landon’s spirit in Rafael’s body.
Alaric tries to get through to Hope, thinking that she won’t let herself wake up because she knows she’ll have to face her grief over losing Landon. He’s been there and doesn’t want her to have to go through that, but they need her.
The Super Squad considers their options – maybe M.G. or Kaleb can grab Excalibur and vamp-run away before the Green Knight can catch them. Nimue says that he’ll follow them anywhere they go, destroying and killing everything in his path. That quickly gets taken off the table. Wade thinks that since he brought the sword there, he should be the one to face the Green Knight. Unless anyone has a better idea? Please?
Lizzie says this isn’t about fault, it’s about worthiness. M.G. notes that Alaric put him in charge, so maybe he’s the worthy one. Alyssa tells him worthiness comes from compassion and kindness and all the qualities Lizzie’s spent the day reminding them that Josie has. She should have the honorable death here. Lizzie argues against Josie being worthy, then orphan-shames Alyssa again, like, Lizzie, people already hate you enough. Stop giving them more reasons to. Alyssa says that if she’s a villain, then she’s Team Monster now, and she’s leaving.
Lizzie apologizes to Josie for the way she defended her, but Josie says she was being honest, as was Alyssa. Josie should be the champion here. All day Lizzie’s wanted her to make a hero move to show that she belongs at the school. Lizzie reminds her that she doesn’t have her magic, but Josie’s willing to take the risk. Everyone else took a risk bringing her back from the darkness, and now she wants to prove that it was worth it. She tells Lizzie not to try to stop her. Lizzie agrees, but when Josie reaches for Excalibur, Lizzie does, too. She’s not letting her sister fight alone.
I guess none of these kids has seen or read any version of the legend of King Arthur because they didn’t consider the possibility that they wouldn’t be able to pull Excalibur out of the rock. Nimue’s like, “I told you only a worthy champion could wield Excalibur. It’s not my fault you’re not worthy.”
Rafael and Landon argue about why it would be okay for Landon to make his hero move but not for Rafael to make his. The Necromancer accepts Rafael’s offer and is about to put Landon’s spirit in his body when the doorbell rings. “Saved by the actual bell,” Landon comments. Chad’s at the door, and he’s surprised by the new twist in his favorite TV show, where Landon’s not really dead, or at least not all the way. Chad finally decided to tell someone about Nimue, whom he guesses is looking for Hope. Landon and Rafael realize that she went to their classmates intead. Landon wants to help them, but Rafael refuses until he’s back in his body.
Kaleb tries to pull Excalibur out of the rock. Verdict: not worthy. Josie breaks it to Nimue that while they’re usually good with monsters, their “main champion” is kind of busy. “Then there is no hope?” Nimue asks. Har har. For once in her life, Lizzie wishes Hope were there. Somewhere, Ablah is cackling. M.G. says they need to accept that Hope isn’t coming. They need to make her proud of them for saving the day like she always does. They’ll have to remain united and believe in each other to get through this.
The Super Squad seems ready to band together, but Nimue doesn’t think M.G. will succeed unless he has the blood of kings. Oh, did she fail to mention that royalty equals worthiness? “Okay, boomer, maybe in your time,” Josie says. Lizzie’s annoyed that Nimue still hasn’t told them everything.
There’s more thunder and lightning overhead as the Green Knight slowly closes in on Excalibur. “I don’t care what some lady skulking around in ponds, distributing swords thinks of us,” M.G. says. They’re worthy, and they just need to prove it. Nimue tells him he’ll have to convince the Green Knight of that. Lizzie looks to M.G. for a plan. He has the guys grab the tug-of-war rope to slow down the Green Knight, then tells the “wonder twins” to protect the sword. Josie asks what he’s going to do. He doesn’t answer, but she guesses that it’ll be “something stupid.” He starts fighting the Green Knight, which just makes the monster mad.
Rafael takes Landon to their room so he can see Hope. Rafael wants him to grasp that if he doesn’t come back, Hope won’t, either. Rafael doesn’t want him to have that on his conscience like Rafael has Landon’s death on his. Landon doesn’t think easing Rafael’s guilt is a good enough reason to come back when he has the chance to save everyone. Rafael promises that they’ll get Hope back whether Landon acts on his own or in Rafael’s body. But when she wakes up, Landon’s the first person she’ll want to see.
Kaleb, Jed, and Wade wrap the rope around the Green Knight to hold him back, but Wade says it’s not working. “Not with that attitude,” Jed replies. He tells Wade that they believe in him. Kaleb’s not as enthusiastic about that, but he does believe in teamwork. Lizzie tries some spells but her luck isn’t much better. M.G. is able to punch off the Green Knight’s helmet, which just makes him madder.
Rafael arrives just then and uses Excalibur’s hilt to steady himself as he leans over to help M.G. up. When Rafael straightens up, Excalibur comes right out of the rock. “Your royal highness?” M.G. says. Nimue confirms that he’s the worthy champion. Rafael runs the Green Knight through with the sword and the weather quickly returns to normal. The Green Knight dissolves and disappears. Yay, Raf!
He tries to give Excalibur back to Nimue, but she says it’s his, since he’s a descendant of King Arthur. If he does better with the sword than his ancestors did, she won’t need to come back. She turns to water and disappears as well. Everyone’s thrilled to see Rafael, who just goes back to thinking about the situation he left back at the school.
Landon sits next to Hope on his bed, now back in his physical form and able to interact with things. He kisses her, because he didn’t hear her telling the pig that a nonconsensual kiss is never okay. She wakes up, happy that he’s there. “For you, always,” he assures her.
M.G. hangs up a poster in a school hallway that says, “Teamwork is magical.” He follows a trail of wet footprints, thinking Nimue’s back, but they belong to Lizzie. She’s down on herself for ruining the field day, but M.G. cares about her more than the activities. She appreciates that he always supports her, no matter what version of her she is. She feels bad for the way she treated Alyssa and wants to apologize. Alyssa left the school, but M.G. says he’ll go bring her back. Lizzie suggests that his superhero name should be the Unifier. He advises her to check on her sister.
Lizzie’s already talked to her and convinced her to go spend some time with Caroline in Europe. That will allow Josie to be the focus for a change. She doesn’t want Alaric to think he can’t help her, though, since she knows that’s all he’s been doing lately. Alaric agrees with her plan to go see Caroline, since he needs to learn to let go of things he can’t control.
Hope’s still in Landon’s bed, but this time it’s so they can cuddle. She’s glad she didn’t have to see him dead. He wonders how she knew that he was dead even though she was asleep. She says she just did. She asks what made him want to come back. “I knew you’d kick my ghost a%$ if I didn’t,” he replies. Heh. Also, he and Rafael made a pact to keep fighting bad guys together every day. Hope says they have their own little Super Squad. He jokes that they’ll get a bat-signal she can use to summon them. They start making out but Rafael comes in. Hope gives them some time alone, and Rafael happily shows off his new sword to Landon.
Chad and Alyssa are both on their way out of town, ready to make something of their lives now that they’ve gotten second chances. Chad’s big goal: become manager at the Ice Cream Palace. Sadly, that won’t happen. He vomits a bunch of dark goo, then dies.
Alyssa goes back to the Salvatore crypt to ask the Necromancer if her link to Chad means she’s going to die, too. The Necromancer says she won’t if she agrees to be his eternal acolyte. Well, that’s not going to be good for anyone! And what does this mean for the other student who was linked to Chad and Alyssa?
Etc.: How did I forget how many assemblies Alaric calls in this series?
Charles Jazz Terrier’s (Chad) impression of the Necromancer is spot-on.
You know who never gets enough credit for his work? Elijah B. Moore, who plays Wade. He’s perfectly cast and is so fun to watch.
Speaking of Wade, in a cute detail, he’s put the Malivore symbol on the punching bag he’s practicing his sword skills on.
I want to watch The Vampire Diaries with Chad. He’d love it.
If either of the twins was going to say, “Okay, boomer,” we can all agree it would be Lizzie, not Josie, right?
You can tell the students aren’t used to figuring out who’s going to be in charge, since normally Hope just takes care of everything for them. They’re like, “We don’t know what to do when she’s not here giving us orders.”
I love a “not with that attitude” retort.
An Eternity of Misery 