Klaus voices over some stuff about mothers and gives us a rundown of his siblings as we see what they’re currently up to. Hayley and Elijah are trying to act like things are normal and they didn’t hook up the night before. He’s also still struggling with his recovered memories. Kol is making out with Davina. Finn is with Mikael at the Lycée, fixing up his wounds from being held captive at the Compound. Rebekah is doing nothing, since she’s no longer in her body. Klaus says they’ve finally defeated Esther, who will have to decide if she wants to live as a vampire or let herself die.
He’s is telling Cami all this as he brings her to the hideout in Arkansas. He assures her that Finn won’t find her there; it’s the safest possible place for her right now. He’s happy to get to introduce her to Hope, “the little troublemaker all the fuss has been about.” Cami’s shocked to learn that Hope is alive. Klaus warns that he’ll have to compel away that knowledge when it’s safe for Cami to leave. She understands, and she doesn’t seem mad about having been lied to.
Now that Esther’s been neutralized, Klaus wants to turn his attention to Finn. He and Hayley are going to head back to the Quarter, and Cami and Elijah will stay in the hideout with Hope. Elijah thinks his single “outburst” at the diner is being blown out of proportion, and he doesn’t appreciate being sidelined. Klaus notes that Cami has experience with “minds plagued by demons,” so the two of them can bond. He thinks that once Rebekah wakes up in her new body, she’ll join them in Arkansas.
Wrong! Rebekah’s not in the body Kol said he would put her in, and the person whose body she wound up in is a resident (inmate? Prisoner? Hard to say) in the inescapable Dowager Fauline Cottage. On top of being in a mortal body and without her vampire perks, she’s restrained and being force-fed drugs to keep her weak. The orderly dealing with her right now ignores her when she warns that he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.
In the Lycée, Finn complains to Mikael that his brothers and sister turned on Esther when she tried to show them mercy. Mikael says she made the mistake of thinking she could save them. The two of them can team up now and finally destroy the other siblings. Finn’s happy to have Mikael’s strength at his disposal.
Hayley meets up with Jackson at the Compound, where he jokes that he’s secure enough not to worry about the fact that she left for three days after he asked her to marry him. She’s still on board for that, but they can’t just call a priest and tie the knot right away. They have to get a shaman and endure some trials and complete some “devotion rituals.” Hayley thinks it sounds intimate. Jackson tells her he’s looking forward to getting to know her better. She takes him to the courtyard, where Aiden has gathered up some of the more influential werewolves for a discussion. They’re joined by Marcel and his crew.
Rebekah gets up from a fake medicated nap, having not actually swallowed the pills she was given. Her restraints have also been removed. She gets a visit from a familiar face, or at least someone who’s familiar to us – Cassie, the Harvest Girl whose body Esther used for a while. She believes Rebekah’s claims about who she is. Rebekah asks how she can break out of the DFC, but Cassie says that’s impossible. No one’s ever gotten out alive.
Kol has moved into the Compound, though he can’t have his old room back because it’s now Hayley’s bedroom and Hope’s nursery. Klaus brings him a bottle of alcohol to celebrate his homecoming and the fact that they’re rid of Esther. Finn storms in before they can enjoy it, and Klaus taunts that he’ll never find their mother. Finn says that Klaus may think he’s won, but that won’t last long.
Downstairs, Hayley tells the werewolves and vampires that for the werewolves to become free, the two factions need to work together. Marcel adds that they’ll maintain peace after Hayley and Jackson’s wedding. A werewolf named Jerick is annoyed that Marcel is calling for a ceasefire after 100 years of murder and curses.
Finn interrupts the attempt at a truce “between mongrels and parasites,” which he thinks might not even last the rest of the day. Only hatred, war, and death are possible between the two species. Standing in the doorway to the Compound, he puts his hand on a wall and does something magical that makes the building shake. Gia tries to rush him but finds that there’s a barrier up that burns her when she tries to pass through it. Finn has trapped everyone in the Compound together.
Upstairs, Klaus and Kol confirm that all the exits have been sealed. Klaus says it’s a witch problem, and since Kol is a witch, he needs to fix it. Klaus is fine hanging out until they’re freed, but Kol might start looking tasty to the vampires downstairs when their next mealtime rolls around. Kol says he’ll need help. Meanwhile, Marcel tells Gia to drop her attitude about the werewolves and keep an eye out for any potential fights between the factions. Hayley asks if he has any suggestions for handling the situation. He’s chosen to do what’s always worked in the past: pass around some alcohol and hope everyone settles down.
Cami has the same idea in Arkansas, though Elijah thinks she wants him to drink so he’ll open up to her about his “damaged soul.” She comments that Esther really did a number on her kids. Her desire for a drink right now isn’t about fixing his problems, it’s about forgetting hers. She’s in a “supernatural witness protection program” because his brother wants her dead. She’s going to pass the time with alcohol and board games. She starts with Trivial Pursuit, but when Elijah won’t play, she asks, “How’s Hayley? You two seemed close.” Elijah’s like, “Trivial Pursuit it is!”
Klaus finds Hayley watching everyone from a balcony and asks if she’s anxious because of the situation or because of Elijah. He’s guessed that they slept together, and he’s actually glad they finally gave up on trying to fight their feelings for each other. She asks him to stop teasing her, since “this family is weird enough already.” You’re the one who had a baby with one brother and just hooked up with the other, so… Klaus thinks she feels guilty and can’t decide whether or not to tell Jackson. He notes that there are a ton of poems about unrequited love but not quite as many about being the subject of it. But love isn’t the foundation for the strongest unions: “It’s the decency of merciful lies.”
Rebekah and Cassie walk through the DFC, which is populated with all the sorts of stereotypical patients you would expect in what amounts to a psychiatric institute. Cassie says the first residents were Mary-Alice Claire and Astrid Malchance, who were imprisoned by Klaus. Then other witches were sent there after they were “broken by magic,” like Cassie was. It’s a depressing place, and acting out gets you removed from everything and restrained in your room.
Rebekah asks about some people who have scars on their faces. Cassie calls them the Kindred, witches who were locked up after becoming obsessed with dark magic. They consider themselves in charge. Rebekah confirms that witches like her and Cassie are still able to use magic. She sees some tiles with letters on them and gets the idea to use them to send a message.
Davina goes to the Compound to help Kol remove the barrier spell. It doesn’t work, and Davina guesses that Finn is channeling something to keep it in place. At the Lycée, Finn gloats to Mikael that his siblings have no idea what they’re up against. Well, he gloats to Mikael’s body, since Mikael can’t hear him, seeing as how he’s being channeled Papa Tunde-style for Finn’s barrier spell.
Cami tries to find a Trivial Pursuit question that will stump Elijah, but when you’ve been alive for 1,000 years, there isn’t a lot you don’t know. He even remembers the name of the jockey who rode Secretariat for all his Triple Crown wins in 1973. “I refuse to believe that you just happen to know that!” she protests. She spills some alcohol on his sleeve and sends him into a Lady Macbeth-type cleaning frenzy. When she tries to stop him, he grabs her wrist, scaring her. He calmly tells her that he’s not as fragile as Esther has led people to believe.
Elijah finally gets the call he’s been waiting for, but instead of hearing from Rebekah, he hears from Angelica, the person whose body she was supposed to take over. Obviously, she’s still herself. Elijah calls Klaus to tell him that Rebekah’s MIA. Kol smirks to himself as he listens in. He tells Klaus that to remove the barrier spell, he needs some things from the Lycée. Getting them will require distracting Finn, and Klaus only knows of one thing that will get him to leave – telling him where Esther is.
Hayley sits Jackson down for a private talk, ready to spill her secrets. She admits that she spent the past few days with Elijah. And she means with Elijah. After taking a few moments to wrap his head around that, Jackson asks if Hayley’s in love with Elijah. She doesn’t need to answer because it’s obvious she is. She says it doesn’t matter, though – the marriage isn’t about that. Jackson spits out that she sees choosing him over Elijah as making a sacrifice.
Josh and Aiden pretend to look for an exit from the “witch bubble of doom” so they can get a few minutes alone together. Aiden worries that someone will catch them making out, but Josh says he doesn’t mind. (Also, he calls Aiden his boyfriend for the first time.) Aiden tells him that the other wolves don’t know they’re dating. “Please tell me that I did not get murdered and come back from the dead just to get shoved back in the closet,” Josh says. Aiden promises it’s not about that – he’s just not ready to tell his pack that he’s dating a vampire. They’ll be furious because of how Marcel made them suffer. Josh notes that he had nothing to do with that, which Aiden knows, of course, but the vampires are the bad guys in the werewolves’ story.
Josh starts feeling weird, and he suddenly can’t take his eyes off of Aiden’s neck. Finn’s doing a spell, and the effects are putting Josh’s cravings into overdrive. Gia starts feeling it, too, then Marcel, then the rest of the vampires. The werewolves are now caged prey.
Klaus calls Finn and asks to make a deal – Esther’s location in exchange for the barrier spell being dropped. Finn says he wants to exterminate the plague he considers vampires to be, and to watch Klaus burn to death. A simple yes or no would do, Finn. He warns that if the vampires try to feed, they’ll go all Ripper and won’t be able to stop. The longer Klaus drags this out, the more likely it is that this ends in a massacre. Klaus presents his offer again, and Finn says he’ll consider it once he’s found Esther alive. Klaus provides him with her location.
Rebekah has used tiles to spell out her message: “SOS RMIKAELSON WTCHASYLM.” She expects that Cassie can help her psychically beam it to her brothers, or something, but the pills they’re given at the DFC make it hard for them to concentrate and do magic. Rebekah reminds Cassie that she was a Harvest Girl and tells her to pull herself together. Cassie tries, but before they can finish the transmission, they’re called away for a meal. When they leave, the tiles clear themselves.
Things are getting tense at the Compound, so Marcel urges Kol to pick up the pace on figuring out how to free everyone. Kol says he and Davina can cast a spell to disrupt Finn’s spell. It would neutralize all magical objects in the Compound, including the Compound itself. They’d have 60 seconds to escape. Klaus points out that the vampires’ daylight rings would also be neutralized, so they’ll have to wait until sundown. Marcel knows his vampires can’t last that long, since they’re all new and haven’t learned how to control their cravings yet.
Elijah fights his memories, turning on Cami when she tries to comfort him. He realizes he’s losing control of himself and zooms away before he can hurt her. At the DFC, Rebekah curses Kol under her breath when she can’t open her window. She sees that the tiles on her floor have rearranged themselves to spell out “WHO ARE YOU.” She introduces herself, then turns to see a blond woman in her room. She gets distracted by a couple of Kindred, and when she looks back, the woman is gone.
The Kindred realize that Rebekah hasn’t been taking her pills and start to restrain her. She bites one of them (it’s hard to break an old habit) and realizes that when you’re not a vampire, blood tastes gross. She makes a run for it, spotting the blond woman again. She thinks the woman is a ghost and just hopes she’s a friendly one.
Finn finds Esther and is shocked to realize that she’s now a vampire. Back at the Compound, where Kol and Davina are setting up for their disruption spell, a fight breaks out and Aiden gets slashed by a makeshift stake while trying to break it up. A baby vamp who can’t fight his cravings anymore pounces on him. Josh and Jackson save Aiden, but Josh just finds himself tempted to feed on his boyfriend. Klaus swoops in before things can get any worse.
Kol and Davina start the spell while Rebekah follows the ghost. The woman goes through a locked door Rebekah can’t open because she no longer has her vampire strength. The door creaks open by itself, so she goes in. She finds the blond woman lying in a dusty coffin. When she leaves the room, she runs into a Kindred and agrees to go with him willingly.
Finn’s disgusted by Esther, who insists that she’s still his mother. She was too hungry to fight her temptation to drink the blood Klaus left her. He calls her a hypocrite, since she couldn’t stick to her principles. He fought for her because of her morality and her convictions, which have now gone out the window. Finn would have done anything for her, and now he knows she would want him to finish what they started.
Kol and Davina’s spell works, so the werewolves leave the Compound. As Kol is about to go with them, Klaus holds him back. He knows Kol betrayed the siblings and did something to Rebekah. Davina begs for Kol’s life, since they’re still surrounded by hungry vampires, but Klaus (who’s on the other side of the barrier) is like, “Not my problem.” Kol says Rebekah’s fine; he just played a prank on her. He realizes the barrier is back up, so he’s out of time to escape the vampires. Klaus says they’ll see how his “petty jealousies” help him now. Davina calls out for Marcel to help Kol, so he sends Kol to find a place to hide.
In the bayou, Hayley chooses the wrong time to say she’s tired of hearing about rings (moonlight, daylight, or otherwise), because Jackson wants to give her an engagement ring. He apologizes for getting mad about her confession about Elijah. He declares his love for her and promises that their arrangement will fix things for their pack. He’s not going to make her love him, but he hopes she’ll still agree to marry him. She does.
Klaus calls Elijah to tell him he’s going to find Rebekah, but Elijah needs to stay put and protect Hope. Elijah hates being left out of the action but can’t argue that he’s been given an important task. He tells Klaus that Cami is “hopelessly courageous” and has charisma. When he gets off the phone, he apologizes to her for his behavior earlier. He’s not used to being placed on house arrest while his family is going through a crisis (well, crises, since there can never just be one at a time with these people). Cami offers to listen if he ever wants to talk.
Klaus goes to the crypt where he left Esther, but it’s empty. Finn puts her unconscious body next to Mikael’s and says he remembers how nice things were when he was a kid. His parents used to be happy that he was their son. But he also remembers the day Freya was taken away and how the family never recovered. He wishes his parents hadn’t had any more children after that. “For that, you will all pay,” he vows. At the Compound, the vampires eye Kol, who barricades himself in the living room.
Rebekah’s back in her bed, having been drugged for real. She doesn’t see the letter tiles rearranging themselves on her floor to spell out the name of the woman in the coffin: “FREYA.”
Etc.: I don’t know why the show insists on calling the institute a cottage when it’s clearly a mansion, but whatever. I’ll be a grammar nerd on my own time.
Yes, Marcel, adding alcohol to an already tense situation is a brilliant idea.
Put Elijah on Jeopardy, please.
Imagine if Elijah had gotten Rebekah’s “SOS RMIKAELSON WTCHASYLM” message. He probably would have said, “I believe this is written in the vernacular that young people refer to as ‘text speak.'”
If Finn remembers the day Dahlia took Freya away, why didn’t he ever mention that to his siblings? Wait, strike that. He probably did and they ignored him because no one cares about Finn.
An Eternity of Misery 