Wendy and Diego are on Alaric’s trail, but he anticipated them coming after him and has set up a trap. He stabs Diego with a sword, then turns on Wendy, though he doesn’t want to hurt her. She lights up a barrier of fire and runs off. That’s not enough to stop Alaric, who just jumps through the flames and chases her back to Vamp Villa.
She yells for Jade as she gets tripped by something that causes her to fall and knock herself out. Jade appears and shoves Alaric onto the piano. He goes after her with his sword, which she catches between her hands. Suddenly memories flood back into her mind. Her humanity is back, and she feels horrible for what she’s done. She collapses, revealing Josie – still with dark eyes and veins from the mora miserium – behind her. Alaric asks what she did. “I fixed her,” she replies.
Hope dreams of some girls chanting part of the Sphinx’s prophecy like it’s a jump-rope rhyme: “A new hero rises, and he will take flight. But when the arrow finds him, a new hero dies.” They join hands and circle Hope. When she tells them to stop, they all point their fingers at her. She remembers the Sphinx’s words about the golden arrow and realizes she’s holding one. The girls disappear and suddenly Landon’s nearby, bleeding. Josie appears behind Hope, her eyes black, and says, “We’re not alone.”
Hope wakes up at Alaric’s desk, where she fell asleep trying to fix the ascendant. She hasn’t had any luck. Landon’s also been busy – he put together a board full of information to try to help him figure out how he was able to suddenly fly. He hurt his wrist trying to make it happen again, and that plus Hope’s dream make her worry more about the prophecy. Landon tells her that he might not be the rising hero in the prophecy. It could be Wade, since he has wings. Hope knows that whoever robbed the school took a golden arrow. What if that’s the one thing that can kill a phoenix? Landon’s sure that she’ll save the day like always.
She thinks she’s been failing as a hero lately. She can’t figure out how to bring back the Saltzmans, and she doesn’t think anyone but her can do it. She wishes she could talk to Alaric, who would know what to do. Landon warns her against astral-projecting into the prison world, which she told him was dangerous. She shouldn’t feel like this is all on her. He’ll help her figure this out. They’re co-heroes. Hope agrees not to astral-project into the prison world if Landon stops jumping off of things to try to fly. He thinks they’ll get the golden arrow back soon, since Dorian has some “top men” working on it.
Those top men are M.G., Kaleb, and Jed. They’re using a big gold moth as a homing beacon to find an identical moth that was in with the things Chad and the Necromancer stole from the school. Jed isn’t happy about having to work with M.G., and M.G. thinks it’s because he’s a vampire. Kaleb declines to tell him what’s really going on.
On their way to find Lizzie, Josie tells Alaric that she can’t remember why she broke the mora miserium. The black magic she absorbed from it has made her feel like everything’s clear for the first time in her life. She’s calmer and more serious than the usual Josie – it’s like she’s a vampire who turned off her humanity. She leads them to Lizzie, who’s just regaining consciousness after crashing the police car. Sebastian is still desiccated, and they all ignore him. Lizzie tells Alaric that she feels like her mind is breaking. She has some pretty bad injuries, and she begs Alaric not to let her die. She drank vampire blood and doesn’t want to turn.
Kai shows up at the Salvatore School, calling himself Joshua and wearing clothes that make him look like a respected professional. He tells Dorian that Alaric said he could stay there for a few days whenever he’s in town. When Dorian asks how “Joshua” knows Alaric, he says he was at Alaric’s wedding: “Brought quite the gift.” Dorian tries to send Kai away, since Alaric isn’t there. Kai guesses that with things being pretty chaotic at the school, Dorian probably hasn’t taken vervain recently. He compels Dorian to find someone who can invite him in.
Alaric takes Lizzie to the hospital and tries to reassure her. Josie says that the black magic is making her worse, and she won’t survive if it stays inside her. Alaric presses her to help. Josie warns that she’ll be unconscious for a while and he shouldn’t be scared. She siphons the black magic out of Lizzie and both of them pass out.
Jade comes in and offers to help, but the sight of Lizzie’s blood makes her vamp out, and she has to stay out of the room. She tells Alaric that Josie somehow turned her humanity back on, and she’s herself again. She was training with EMTs as a teenager and spent her time in the prison world studying up on fixing people’s injuries after fights. She thinks she can help Lizzie, but she can’t get near the blood. She’ll tell Alaric what to do instead.
Hope has gone back to working on the ascendant, and Landon brings her a snack. Alyssa spelled the ascendant so it won’t remain intact, so that’s pretty much a bust. Kai and Dorian come in, and Kai says that they have the wrong ascendant. Conveniently, he’s an expert on prison worlds, and when Dorian told him what they’re trying to do, he offered his help. Kai studies the ascendant and says there’s a linking spell on it. Alyssa sent the Saltzmans to an older, more dangerous world than the one that was recently created. Hope and Landon will need Kai’s help to rescue them.
The three moth seekers run into a problem when their homing device goes out. M.G. suggests that they take a break, but Jed is impatient and doesn’t want to listen to him or Kaleb. M.G. tries to rally Jed and Kaleb in a “why can’t we be friends?” manner, saying some of his best friends are werewolves, and they need to “rise above the stereotypes.” Kaleb blurts out that Alyssa is the real problem there. Jed’s mad that M.G. had a date with Alyssa.
M.G. tells Jed that that date was really a sting operation. Plus, now that Alyssa has sent the Saltzmans to a prison world, he’s definitely not interested in her: “Dark, evil temptresses aren’t really my thing anymore.” Jed complains that M.G. is the only person Alyssa talks about. Kaleb’s kind of proud of himself when he says that that’s not true. M.G.’s even prouder when he realizes that the girl Jed and Kaleb are both into is into him instead. “I guess I must be cute or something,” he says. Kaleb and Jed are about to start fighting when M.G. notices the zombie jogger nearby. The homing device turns back on and M.G. notes that they’re tracking a moving target.
Hope is even more eager to find the Saltzmans now that she knows they’re trapped in a prison world with Kai. She’s decided to astral-project there just to see if they’re still alive. She thinks that the Josie in her dream said, “We’re not alone” as a warning. Hope won’t be able to forgive herself if she finds out that they were in danger this whole time while she couldn’t find a way to save them.
Dorian tells Hope and Landon that “Joshua” told him about a flower that grows near the falls that will make people spill their deepest secrets. If they give it to Alyssa, she’ll tell them where the ascendant to Kai’s prison world is. Dorian enlists Landon to go with him to get it, over Hope’s objections. Landon asks her not to do anything dangerous until he gets back: “If we take risks, we take them together.” Dorian promises to protect him.
Jade guides Alaric through operating on Lizzie. She tells him to use a Laughlin clamp, and when she starts to describe it, he says he’s familiar with it – Lizzie’s mother invented it. He stops her bleeding and stabilizes her. Josie wakes up just then, and Alaric tells Jade that she did something with black magic and can’t remember why. Josie says something or someone is missing from her memory. Jade has the same gap, and she gives Josie the note Kai left her, guessing that’s part of it. Josie figures out that Malivore is involved in the memory loss. Alaric advises Jade to sit down before Josie does the spell to restore their memories.
Kai helps himself to food in the school kitchen, then uses the conversation prism to chat with the Necromancer. The Necromancer is impressed that Kai was able to get into the school, but he warns him not to underestimate Hope. Kai says he has a plan (he always has one). He’s not going to share it, though. All “Mr. Necromancer” (“THE Necromancer! THE”) needs to know is that he’s going to get what he wants: Josie, full of black magic. He just needs to do what Kai says and keep the golden arrow handy.
On the way out of the school to go to the falls with Landon, Dorian suddenly freezes. Then he punches Landon unconscious. In the basement, Kai approaches Alyssa and invites her to team up with him.
Alaric wakes up at Vamp Villa, where Josie tells him there’s nothing to worry about. The prison world is made of magic, which she can siphon. She can just create a door back to the real world. Jade, Wendy, and Diego come in, all expecting to be allowed to tag along on the trip home. Josie says that since the magic she’ll siphon there can’t travel to the real world, someone will need to stay back and be the anchor it goes into. She nominates Diego (“no offense”). Alaric refuses to leave anyone behind.
Josie senses that someone’s coming. Hope appears via astral-projection, but only Josie can see and hear her. She lets Hope know that she broke the mora miserium. Alaric tells Josie to warn her about Kai, and Hope says he might already be at the school, pretending to be someone else. Alaric tells her to get him away from the school ASAP. As Hope disappears, Josie says that they need to do whatever it takes to get out of the prison world. Alaric agrees to her idea to create a door, volunteering himself to stay behind.
When Hope comes out of the astral-projection, Kai is in her room. She lies that she wasn’t able to reach the Saltzmans. He finds the ascendant, which Alyssa hid in her stuffed elephant. “Why is it always stuffed animals?” he wonders. He tells Hope that they’ll need something with the same power as a celestial event. She says she has an idea for that, but they’ll have to leave campus to get it.
She takes Kai to the old stable where they keep all the artifacts from the Armory. They just have to look through a bunch of crates to find the powerful object she’s thinking of. While he searches, she grabs a piece of wood to use as a stake. She throws it at Kai’s back, but he senses it coming and uses magic to freeze it in midair. The two of them engage in a magic battle, but she realizes that he’s not trying to beat her. He admits that he’s just stalling while Alyssa does a spell to sever his connection to the prison world. Since it was created for him, the severance will cause the world to disappear, along with everyone in it.
Hope magically throws Kai up against a post and chains him up. Thanks to his “villain monologue,” she knows what he’s up to. But not everything: He compelled Dorian to take Landon into the woods, “straight into the path of a golden arrow.” It won’t be long before Hope finds out if the Sphinx’s prophecy was true. And Kai already knows that there’s no way Hope can save both Landon and the Saltzmans. She’ll have to choose who to rescue.
Kaleb and Jed capture and kill the zombie near an old trailer in the woods. As they’re bickering over who the hero is here, M.G.’s vamp hearing picks up sounds from the trailer. He goes inside, where he’s surprised to find an unconscious Rafael.
Everyone in the prison world goes to the woods so Josie can do her spell to send them home. She instructs the others to make a circle with some spires. Doors will start opening beneath them to transport one person at a time. Once the spell starts, it won’t stop until it’s done, so they need to move as soon as they see a door. They make the circle and Josie starts the spell.
Lizzie begs Alaric not to stay behind – they’ll find a way to get everyone home. He tells her that Kai’s at the school, and if Hope can’t stop him, the twins need to. He gives her a sword and tells her to go now. Lizzie worries that Sebastian will go after Alaric, but he assures her that he’ll be fine. He’s confident that the twins will find a way to get him back to the real world. Lizzie apologizes for the whole Sebastian thing, but Alaric forgives her and tells her he loves her. As she prepares to go through the first door, Diego starts to wolf out. In the police car, Sebastian undesiccates.
Landon pleads with Dorian to let him go as he leads Landon through the woods. Dorian doesn’t want to hurt him, but he can’t fight the compulsion. He’s hopeful that help is on the way. Hope is in the woods, with the school to her right and the falls to her left. It’s time for her to choose who to save.
She goes right, trying to stop Alyssa from severing Kai’s connection to the prison world. Alyssa says she doesn’t want the Saltzmans back. Hope tells her that the spell will kill them, something Kai didn’t tell Alyssa. Hope understands Alyssa’s anger and desire for revenge, but she’s not a murderer. Hope knows from experience that Alyssa doesn’t want to be responsible for someone’s death. She’ll carry that forever. Alyssa stops the spell, but the ascendant starts whirring anyway.
Landon urges Dorian to fight the compulsion as they get closer to the spot where Dorian’s supposed to hold him so he can get hit with the arrow. Someone in a red robe – the hood keeps us from seeing if it’s Chad or the Necromancer – arrives with a bow and the golden arrow. Torn between his compulsion and his promise to protect Landon, Dorian turns around at the last minute, shielding Landon and taking the arrow in his back.
Landon tells Dorian that he’ll get help, but Dorian knows that help won’t get there in time. He asks Landon to stay with him. He assures Landon that this wasn’t his fault: “No matter what happens, you’re still one of the heroes.” Dorian passes out, leaving a tearful Landon sitting helplessly by his side.
Hope and Alyssa are confused when Wendy suddenly appears at the Salvatore School. Josie’s spell worked. Lizzie promises to get Alaric out of the prison world, then goes through the next door. Diego tackles Alaric, growling that he’ll never forgive him. Suddenly he falls down, his neck snapped. Sebastian has arrived. He tells Alaric that, like he was trying to say the night Alaric sent him there, some people don’t know what to do with a second chance. Alaric thanks him, but Sebastian says that the better thank-you would be taking care of Lizzie. When the next door opens, Sebastian pushes Alaric through it.
Jade must have already gone through a door because just Josie and Sebastian are left in the prison world (well, along with Diego’s body). He’s prepared to sacrifice himself and become the anchor. He asks Josie to give Lizzie a message, but he doesn’t know what to say, so she can make something up. Josie joins the others in the real world, having shed all the black magic inside her and returning to her normal self.
Now it’s time for the other rescue. Hope and Josie run to the woods as Hope explains that she had to make a choice and didn’t choose Landon. She tries some wishful thinking, hoping that if she closes her eyes, he’ll be there when she opens them. She doesn’t see him, but it’s just because she’s not looking in the right place. Landon is in the sky, flying down with wings made of fire, Dorian in his arms. Alaric joins them and tends to Dorian with Josie as Hope takes in the sight of her boyfriend in his truly heroic form.
Once everything’s settled down, Josie does a spell to keep Jade, Wendy, and Alyssa confined at the old mill. I guess that’s Alaric’s new version of detention. Despite the fact that they’re technically ten years apart in age, Josie and Jade are definitely interested in each other.
At Vamp Villa, Sebastian raids the Salvatores’ booze stash to ease what will happen when the prison world collapses. Lizzie astral-projects in to tell him to go to Georgia and jump in the Malivore pit. Sebastian doubts he’ll make it there before the world collapses. He apologizes for trying to force her to turn, and she apologizes for having such bad taste in men. He reminds her lightly that when they first met, he warned her to keep her distance. Lizzie tells him again to go to Georgia, but he doesn’t seem to be in a rush to go. After she leaves, he just sits and drinks. “I think I would have liked this place,” he says to himself. Oh, babe, Damon would have killed you within three episodes.
Rafael remembers coming back to town on the bus, then nothing until he woke up in the trailer with someone in a red robe. Alaric says they’ll figure things out later; right now, he’s just glad that Rafael is safe. He assures Rafael, M.G., and Kaleb that Dorian is fine, though he apparently opted for regular healing in a hospital instead of via vampire blood. He pours them all drinks, claiming this is a one-time thing. Uh-huh, sure. They toast to the next day being better.
Hope and Landon end the day together in bed (fully clothed). She feels bad for not saving him, but he says she did the right thing – she saved six lives instead of one. She just did a real-life version of the trolley problem! Still, Landon knows it’s weighing on her, and he’s not sure he could have made the same choice she did. That’s why Hope needs to be the hero. She does what everyone else can’t. She notes that she can’t fly. Eh, I bet she could find a way. She asks what it’s like, and he describes it as being “like falling away from the earth.” He can’t really explain it, so he’ll have to take her flying sometime.
Lizzie holds the ascendant, watching as it shudders and then breaks apart. She lies down with Josie, waiting for Sebastian to arrive. The fact that she knows what’s going on means he hasn’t erased himself, so the odds are pretty low here.
Kai, who’s been waiting patiently in the stable, remembers that he has the conversation prism. He contacts the Necromancer and asks him to send a minion to free him. The Necromancer declines, since Kai didn’t tell him that severing the connection the prison world would have cost him Josie and her dark magic. “Yeah, betrayal’s sort of a habit at this point,” Kai says. With Josie back in the real world, the Necromancer has no more use for Kai.
He’s not the only one: Alaric is there with a sword, ready to finally make Kai pay for everything he’s done. After all they’ve been through, Kai feels like this is anticlimactic. Alaric disagrees. “This is for Jo,” he says, putting the sword to Kai’s neck. He pulls it back and swings, decapitating Kai. Then he just leaves the body there for someone else to deal with. Nice, Ric. Unless he wants to give Bonnie, Damon, and Elena a chance to come by and spit on the body.
Josie wakes up sometime in the night, her eyes black again. Black veins begin to form on her face.
Etc.: In addition to having phones, the Salvatore students would get through a lot more crises if they called Bonnie when they were stuck. Though Bonnie has definitely earned the right not to always have to run to other people’s rescue.
Kai calling himself Joshua is a nice little Easter egg, since that was his father’s name.
“I guess I must be cute or something.” No, M.G., you’re adorable.
Another nice Easter egg: the Laughlin clamp. I love that Alaric knows what it looks like.
Thanks, whoever did the closed captions for this episode, for captioning the surgery scene with “(squishing).”
Kai refers to Landon as “Lando,” and I wish Landon had been there, because he would have probably been pleased at first, Star Wars fan that he is, then ashamed, because who wants a cool nickname from someone who’s evil?
I don’t think Hope chose to save the Saltzmans because she wanted to save more than just one person. By saving Josie and Lizzie, she ensured herself two witches who could save Landon.
555-BYE-KAI.
An Eternity of Misery 