Damon and Enzo are at a house with a new friend they’ve made, a guy they’ve nicknamed Farmer John. Damon guesses that he lives there alone now because he fell out of love with his wife, who then cheated on him with their pastor. Enzo thinks Damon’s projecting because he got dumped. John is unconscious, and the guys are waiting for him to revive so Damon can feed on him. Enzo has determined that he needs to eat every eight hours. He wants to make sure Damon doesn’t get tempted to feed on him.
John revives in transition, and Enzo gives him a bag of human blood and informs him that he’s a vampire now. He asks where John’s wife is, wanting to know if Damon was right about her leaving. She ditched him for a pharmacist, not a pastor, but Damon will take the win. Then he takes John’s life by feeding on him Ripper-style. Enzo isn’t scared enough to leave, though – he’s the only friend Damon has left.
At Vamp Villa, Stefan helps Katherine study for a history class by quizzing her on various dates. She corrects the date of the end of the Holy Roman Empire, claiming she knows it because she wrote a paper about it in high school, not because she was actually there, ha ha, that’s ridiculous because it was hundreds of years ago and she’s Elena, not Katherine! Caroline comes by with news from Liz, who looked into Damon and Enzo’s activities after they left Mystic Falls. They’ve left a trail of victims who were killed in their homes, their heads detached and their bodies desiccated. Stefan realizes that Damon is feeding on vampires.
He regrets letting Damon go, but Caroline doesn’t want him to blame himself for “Damon’s roosting chickens.” They couldn’t have stopped him from going after Wes. Stefan guesses that he injected Damon with the same thing he was going to give Elena. Caroline says that the bad news is that when Jesse went through this, Elena had to kill him, but the good news is…um…never mind, there isn’t any. Stefan decides he needs to find Damon. Katherine volunteers to help.
Tyler calls Caroline, who’s been avoiding him since their confrontation at his party. He tells her that Nadia has been compelling Matt to forget things. Katherine hears him through the phone and realizes that her and Nadia’s plan has hit a snag. Tyler reports that Matt has disappeared, so Caroline says she’ll come over and help him figure things out. Katherine offers to come along, because that’s what Elena would do, but Caroline wants to go alone. She thinks it’s time for her and Tyler to move out of their post-breakup hostility and into some kind of friendship.
Katherine leaves to get some stuff from the Super Suite for a road trip. Stefan jokes to Caroline that the bad news is that Tyler hates her, but the good news is…um… Caroline notes they they’re both going to to spend time with their exes. She thinks something weird is going on between Stefan and Katherine. First she was going to fight to get Damon back; now she’s hanging out with Stefan. Stefan promises that they’re just friends. Caroline just wants him to stay sane and stable.
In the Super Suite, Katherine calls Nadia to ask about Matt. He’s with Nadia at a diner, and she objects to Katherine’s order to kill him when she learns that he knows everything. The vervain is out of Matt’s system and he’s been out of communication with the gang for two days. Nadia will fix this. Katherine asks if they’ve been canoodling. Nadia doesn’t know what that means. Katherine says that everyone loves Matt, which is why he’s still alive, but keeping her new life is more important than his.
She’s going with Stefan to find Damon because it’s the chance to be alone with him. Nadia asks what will happen if they get too close or if Katherine slips up. Will she kill him? Katherine doesn’t appreciate Nadia making her think about how far she’ll go to keep her secret. When she gets off the phone, Matt promises Nadia that he’ll keep everything quiet. She doesn’t have to kill him. He jumps when she reaches across the table for syrup but relaxes when she asks what canoodling is.
Damon puts John in a rocking chair and balances his head on his body like Stefan used to do with the people he’d Rippered. Enzo resets the eight-hour feeding clock and suggests that they go to New York. But Travelers are chanting outside the house, and when the guys try to leave, they find that they’re trapped inside. Wes appears and tells them that while he prefers science to magic, he likes the advantage magic gives him. He wants to run a test on his “patient zero.” Now that Damon and Enzo are trapped together, how long will Damon last before he feeds on his friend?
Katherine and Stefan stop for gas somewhere on their way to find Damon. He appreciates her tagging along, and she makes it clear that she came for him, not Damon. She doesn’t think he can be saved. Stefan acknowledges that Damon crossed a line when he kidnapped Jeremy, but that’s not the first line he’s crossed. Katherine names the time he killed Jeremy. Stefan notes that she’s moved past everything else Damon has done. She says she still cares about him, but she can’t keep getting her hopes up. She’s done with “the emotional roller-coaster that is Damon’s redemption.” She sends Stefan into the gas station mini-mart so he’s not around to see her disconnecting some car part that shouldn’t be disconnected.
Enzo is surprisingly calm for someone who could be dead in less than eight hours. Damon’s the one who’s not handling it well. Enzo reminds him of something they discussed when they were prisoners together – staying calm will get you through anything. They have options, like calling Stefan or Elena and siccing them on Wes. Even though Stefan told Damon not to come back, Enzo thinks he should suck it up and call him. He realizes that Damon doesn’t want Stefan or Elena to come because he might hurt them. Damon promises not to feed on Enzo. He’ll figure something out.
Caroline goes to Lockwood Landing so she and Tyler can figure out the Matt dilemma. But after just a few moments (all awkward because they’re not getting along), they no longer have a dilemma because Matt’s home. Nadia’s with him, and the two pretend that were away together. Matt even invites Nadia into the house.
Stefan discovers his disconnected…whatever and determines that he needs a new one. Katherine purposely gets grease on her shirt and face so she can suggest that they get a motel room and clean themselves up. Stefan doesn’t take the bait, opting to stay at the garage while his car is fixed. Katherine talks him into coming with her.
Back at Lockwood Landing, Nadia says that she felt bad about compelling Matt and snapping Tyler’s neck, so she went to Matt’s to apologize. He was on his way out of town, so she tagged along. They went to Atlantic City, he lost his phone, and they spent the past couple of days…canoodling. Caroline doesn’t buy the story, even though Matt’s wearing his vervain bracelet again.
Nadia says that Matt claimed that Caroline would be okay with them hanging out. She’s upset that Caroline is judging Matt when she’s made her own mistakes with regard to romantic choices. Tyler and Caroline leave the room, and she tries to convince him that Nadia’s trying to distract them. Tyler buys the story, though – after all, Matt traveled around Europe with Rebekah after she almost killed him. He finds this easier to accept than other things that have happened (like, for example, Caroline having sex with Klaus).
Katherine and Stefan check into a motel, but instead of cleaning up, she grabs them some drinks from the mini-bar. Stefan notes that she brought a lot of clothes for their trip. She says she didn’t know how long they would be gone, considering how long Damon’s spirals can last. Stefan’s sure they’ll get him back. He’s not a lost cause. Stefan knows what Damon’s going through, since he was also once in love with Elena. Being with her felt like a perfect fit. It’s hard to adjust in the aftermath. Damon may be handling things wrong, but he’s not gone for good. Katherine makes sure their fingers touch when she takes Stefan’s glass, and he decides this is a good time to get some distance.
There’s about an hour left until Damon’s dinnertime, so Enzo chains him to a chair to buy himself more time. He’s still sure that they’ll figure something out. Damon reminds him that there’s no cure for this Ripper virus he’s been given. Enzo blasts him for running every time he has a problem. “Because when I stay, I destroy things,” Damon replies. Enzo tells him he’s not fragile enough to be destroyed. Once Damon is fully restrained, Enzo calls Stefan.
Stefan’s in the shower so Katherine answers his phone using her best “I’m Elena Gilbert and I’m soooooo worried about Damon” voice. Enzo tells her that Wes injected Damon with the Ripper virus and they’re trapped together thanks to the Travelers. Damon calls out for Katherine not to come find them. Enzo tells her to ignore him – if Damon tries to hurt her, Enzo will kill him. Katherine says she and Stefan will head out to them, but when Stefan gets out of the shower, she doesn’t tell him about the call.
Damon’s not happy with Enzo, who kind-of, sort-of jokes that at least he’ll have two other vampires to feed on instead. Wes returns to the front door and shoots Enzo so his blood will rile up Damon. Wes wants to see how strong Damon becomes when he’s hungry. Damon easily busts out of his chains and goes after Enzo, who’s able to punch him across the room. He suddenly misses when he and Damon were locked in cages and couldn’t physically interact.
Damon bites Enzo, who begs him to stop. Suddenly Damon backs off, spitting out Enzo’s blood. Wes explains that the Travelers raised the acidity of Enzo’s blood. Enzo can leave, but Wes needs him to do one more thing first. Damon encourages him to accept the offer, knowing he won’t be able to stop himself from trying to kill Enzo again. Enzo hesitates to leave him but ultimately does.
Katherine takes a shower as Stefan starts packing their things, since his car’s fixed. (Music: “Fleur Blanche,” Orsten) She wraps herself in a towel and asks him to bring her a clean shirt. She leaves the door open a little as she gets dressed, and Stefan can’t stop himself from ogling her. Inappropriate! When she’s dressed, she slowly moves in for the kill – or, more appropriately, the kiss. Stefan lets himself give in, but he realizes the timing is horrible. Katherine pretends that he’s right, but she’s secretly pleased with herself for accomplishing the first part of her goal.
As Stefan goes to pay their bill, she calls Nadia to ask who she thinks Stefan loves more, Damon or Elena. Katherine wants to get Damon to attack her so Stefan will kill him. Nadia says that’s dark, even for Katherine. Katherine takes that as a compliment. She asks if “Matty Blue Eyes” is dead yet, and Nadia says she’s working on it. (Not really, since they’re playing cards.)
Matt notes that Nadia went through a lot of trouble to save Katherine, and she just wants to hang out with Stefan. Matt can relate because of his rough relationship with his mother. Nadia, like Matt, is at the mercy of a mother who gets to decide when it’s worth being in her child’s life. Nadia thinks Matt’s trying to get her to turn on Katherine because she might then help Elena. She guesses that Matt was always able to forget the horrible things Kelly did because she was still his mother.
She bites him to make sure the vervain’s out of his system. He decides to take a chance and kiss her, since he’s going to forget all this anyway. He thanks her for not making his time as a hostage too miserable. They end up making out, and while Nadia’s distracted, Matt steals her phone. He manages to type out, “Help. K” before she catches him.
Nadia’s disappointed that Matt, the only person in Mystic Falls she doesn’t hate, turned on her. Matt urges her to continue proving that she’s not like her mother – she doesn’t have to hurt him. She compels him to forget everything he’s not supposed to know. They partied and had sex, and then she left. As Nadia’s leaving Lockwood Landing, Caroline stops her. Matt joins them and Caroline asks if everything’s okay. She got his text.
Caroline shoves Nadia against a wall and demands to know what she’s doing to Matt. Nadia flips her around so she’s against the wall and tells Matt that even though he won’t remember why, this is his fault. Tyler zooms in and tackles Nadia, overpowering her because even though she’s several hundred years old, hybrids are stronger than even old vampires. They struggle and Nadia runs out. Matt’s very confused.
The Travelers are gone by the time Stefan and Katherine arrive at the house. Damon tells them to stay outside. They can’t help him, so they should just leave. Stefan says he’s not afraid of his brother. Katherine comes up with a plan on the spot and steps into the house, trapping herself with Damon. She tells him she wants to prove that he’s not a lost cause. Stefan follows her in and Katherine cuts her hand with some broken glass, urging Damon to resist his hunger. He can do it because he loves her, and his love is stronger than any craving he might have.
Stefan isn’t sure Damon can fight his urges, but Katherine keeps up her game. Damon is able to resist at first, but he grabs Katherine and starts to drink from her. She kicks a piece of wood toward Stefan, hinting for him to stake Damon with it. Instead, Stefan cuts himself to lure Damon away from Katherine. When Damon turns away from her, Stefan breaks his neck.
Caroline reports to Tyler that all Matt remembers from his time with Nadia is sex. Awkward silence. Tyler apologizes for his confrontation with Caroline, but he’s not past the reason for it, i.e., the fact that she slept with Klaus. She thinks he’ll move on eventually, but he’s not sure there’s enough time in the world for him to do that. They’re not going to get back to the place they used to be.
Damon wakes up in the basement of Vamp Villa, once again a prisoner. He warns Stefan that bringing home a rabid animal will lead to him getting bitten. Stefan regrets telling him to leave. Uh, you didn’t. You told him not to come back if he left. He was already on his way out the door. Anyway, Damon thinks it’s inevitable that he’ll kill his brother.
Stefan isn’t afraid of a Ripper. He knows how Damon can control himself. But for now, he’s going to give him some vervain and take a break so Damon can think about what he’s done while he’s in timeout. Stefan won’t give up on his brother. “She has,” Damon replies. Stefan notes that Katherine put her own life in danger to help him. Damon reminds him that when Jesse attacked him, Elena killed him. She wouldn’t have if there had been even the smallest possibility that she didn’t have to. He thinks Katherine wanted Stefan to kill him. Stefan finds that hard to believe, but not an impossibility.
Katherine and Nadia meet up at a café, and Katherine reports that it’s only a matter of time before Stefan wants to get back together. Nadia comments that it sounds like she’s going to get everything she wants. Katherine says she will if Matt is taken care of. Nadia just tells her that her secret is secure. Katherine notices that Nadia is acting low, but Katherine’s in a good mood and she doesn’t want her daughter bringing her down. Nadia says she won’t have to worry about that much longer. When she and Tyler were fighting, he bit her.
Stefan and Caroline meet up in his living room and she tells him a) she’s still facing the consequences of sleeping with Klaus and b) Matt is back but Nadia compelled him to forget whatever he’s been up to. She shows Stefan the text he sent, which she hasn’t been able to interpret. Stefan says that Katherine’s been acting strange and tells Caroline about their kiss. He says he stopped because he didn’t want to hurt Damon.
Caroline can’t believe that Elena would kiss her ex when she knows what it would do to Damon. Stefan shares Damon’s theory that she wanted Stefan to kill him. Caroline can’t believe that, either. Stefan starts putting things together and wonders if the K from Matt’s text is Katherine. Maybe Katherine and Nadia altered their plan to put Katherine in Nadia’s body and instead put her in Elena’s body. That’s the third thing Caroline can’t believe, but when she starts thinking about it, she realizes Stefan might be on to something.
Etc.: Whoever decided to score the first scene with “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons so the big gasp in the first verse would coincide with John gasping for air as he revived – you’re not as clever as you think you are.
Notice that Caroline now says Elena “had” to kill Jesse after Wes gave him the Ripper virus. Previously, she thought there could have been another way to handle the situation.
Wes didn’t find a way to prevent Damon and Enzo from calling for help? What a horrible villain.
A nice little detail: When Katherine and Stefan stop kissing, she puts her hand to her lips like she did when thinking about kissing him in 1864.
Characters on this show seem to always forget that breaking a vampire’s neck is an option. Why didn’t Enzo do that to Damon?
An Eternity of Misery 